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President Trump Pushes To Reopen Alcatraz

President Trump Pushes To Reopen Alcatraz, Social Media Suggests He Become 1st Inmate

Published on May 5, 2025
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Barely a day after potentially offending billions of Catholics with fake Pope pictures, President Trump has moved on with a new ambitious goal for himself. Trump now wants to reopen Alcatraz, the notorious maximum security prison off the coast of San Francisco that closed down back in 1963. 

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His reasoning harps on the criminals within American society, and his new genius idea —which he shared on Truth Social and that inevitably makes its way to X— provides a place to hold them.
“For too long, America has been plagued by vicious, violent, and repeat Criminal Offenders, the dregs of society, who will never contribute anything other than Misery and Suffering,” began the Truth Social post. “When we were a more serious Nation, in times past, we did not hesitate to lock up the most dangerous criminals, and keep them far away from anyone they could harm. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.” The problem is, the floating prison only holds around 300 people, so Trump wants to expand it, and now has taken official steps by using social media, no less, to instruct several government agencies to get the ball rolling. He continued, “That is why, today I am directing the Bureau of Prisons, together with the Department of Justice, FBI, and Homeland Security, to reopen a substantially enlarged and rebuilt ALCATRAZ, to house America’s most ruthless and violent Offenders.” Nearly 100 years ago, Alcatraz was home to those ruthless criminals because of the then-modern 1930s high-level security. Being surrounded by frigid shark-infested coastal waters made it especially hard to escape and live to tell about it.  Some of the most infamous offenders who stayed there included prohibition era mobster Al Capone, the Godfather of Harlem Bumpy Johnson, and gangster Machine Gun Kelly. However, Alcatraz was only open for about 30 years because it was so expensive to keep open, and the Bay Area’s weather led to corrosion and a crumbling concrete structure. Its 1963 closing was only sped up after several prisoners escaped in 1962 and were never heard from again.  Since then, the National Park’s Department of San Francisco has flipped its business model, turning Alcatraz into a tourist hotspot, boasting over 1 million visitors yearly.  Now, if Trump gets his way, he’ll be ruining a good thing.  See how social media is reacting to Trump’s latest pipe dream below.

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